Loving Kindness

I am in a situation of being sued by someone who I thought was a friend.  It is a frivolous lawsuit, in that it has no basis at all.  The friend is not highly educated, and her testimony is at its core flawed.  It makes no logical sense.  It has no basis in reality, and ultimately it is a money grab on her part.

My heart is broken, and I am also spinning out in fear, not so much because of the lawsuit, but because her daughter is staying in my house and I am afraid of what she will do to the property.

The conundrum is how can I have loving kindness in this situation?  To what extent do I allow people to harass and take-advantage of me before I stop it? 

Can I just let it go and let God do the work?  

It is interesting because when it first happened I used a divination trick using the Bible.  I simply asked God what I needed to know and then opened to a page for the response.  It was a fantastic exercise that showed me God is with me through this process.  I opened to Psalms 94.

Reading it immediately it reminds me of Romans, Vengence belongs to the Lord, or Vengence is Mine, says the Lord... 
And so I know, I am not required to correct this wrong action, but to allow God to work out the path for correction.

It is so confusing because although I have been extremely generous with my friend from the beginning, and she has been supportive of the program and the work being done at the Community House, what is happening now is so contrary to everything I thought she represented.  

So I am heartbroken and lost.  Not sure how to proceed.  But knowing that I am not doing this alone is helping me to get through.

My decision is to try to stay in a state of loving kindness.  I talk to the spirit of my friend, and open my heart to healing.  I talk to the spirit of God and the Holy Spirit, that I can find comfort in this moment.  

But it waivers, the other side of me fights against being loving.  This side braces against all the possibilities of destruction: mainly, theft at the house and destruction of my property.  She has been keeping my mail from me, and so this morning I went to the post-office and put a stop delivery tag on my address.  This idea came to me, not in fear, but in a state of grace.

The idea to turn off the electric, gas and water have also come to me, but I am afraid this will escalate the situation, and I don't feel the same state of grace in this.

What is good about this situation is that I am learning to tune in to my higher-self, talk to God, and slow down before acting.  Although I have felt nauseaus and truly just wanting to hide in my bed from fear, I am taking the steps forward.  

At the post-office while getting my stop-mail form, there was an older gentleman in line before me.  He started talking about his grandchildren.  He told me that he was going to visit the oldest in Arizona who is graduating with a Master's degree.  He was filled with joy, and it helped soften my mood.  He said he was putting a stop-mail request in.  

I felt the power of the synchronicity.  I told him my story and he shared how he delt with an abusive husband in the neighborhood, which I won't repeat except to say, this ex-Marine does not take any crap!

Well, I told him that I am trying to remain in a state of loving-kindness, and truly his talking with me shifted me back into that awareness. I am more confident that everything will be alright.  I am less afraid, and I am more willing to continue projecting love into the situation with the prayers of hope for liberation.

Also, I am using my favorite prayer:

God If I have to go through this, make it as easy as possible.

Psalms 94  -  God the Refuge of the Righteous94 O Lord God, to whom vengeance belongs--
O God, to whom vengeance belongs, shine forth!
2 Rise up, O Judge of the earth;
[a]Render punishment to the proud.
3 Lord, how long will the wicked,
How long will the wicked triumph?
4 They utter speech, and speak insolent things;
All the workers of iniquity boast in themselves.
5 They break in pieces Your people, O Lord,
And afflict Your heritage.
6 They slay the widow and the stranger,
And murder the fatherless.
7 Yet they say, “The Lord does not see,
Nor does the God of Jacob [b]understand.”
8 Understand, you senseless among the people;
And you fools, when will you be wise?
9 He who planted the ear, shall He not hear?
He who formed the eye, shall He not see?
10 He who [c]instructs the [d]nations, shall He not correct,
He who teaches man knowledge?
11 The Lord knows the thoughts of man,
That they are futile.
12 Blessed is the man whom You instruct, O Lord,
And teach out of Your law,
13 That You may give him [e]rest from the days of adversity,
Until the pit is dug for the wicked.
14 For the Lord will not [f]cast off His people,
Nor will He forsake His inheritance.
15 But judgment will return to righteousness,
And all the upright in heart will follow it.
16 Who will rise up for me against the evildoers?
Who will stand up for me against the workers of iniquity?
17 Unless the Lord had been my help,
My soul would soon have settled in silence.
18 If I say, “My foot slips,”
Your mercy, O Lord, will hold me up.
19 In the multitude of my anxieties within me,
Your comforts delight my soul.
20 Shall the throne of iniquity, which devises evil by law,
Have fellowship with You?
21 They gather together against the life of the righteous,
And condemn innocent blood.
22 But the Lord has been my defense,
And my God the rock of my refuge.
23 He has brought on them their own iniquity,
And shall [g]cut them off in their own wickedness;
The Lord our God shall cut them off.