|
There is a lot happening in my life that feels incredibly unfair, and yet because of my spiritual practice and growth it is all alright.
Do I always enjoy it? No! I believe the adage, "everything happens for a reason". I used to add, yes and that reason is that I am an idiot or I made a bone-head decision. I didn't always recognize the deeper meaning behind everything that I do and all that comes into my experience. I was having a conversation with one of my beautiful spiritual teachers in this life, Barbarah Nicoll, and she spoke about how we live in fields of agreement, and the fields allow for some things to happen, and restrict others. She had been a colleague of mine when I worked at the SelfDesign Institute. She was instumental in bringing me into the institute, and she also experienced some of the abuses that one member imposed on so many of us there. I had shared with her a conversation and how I had wanted to speak my truth but wasn't given the chance. She explained that there was no way I could speak that into the space, because on the spiritual and energetic level there was a complete block. There was no agreement to allow that in. When I made the decision to shut down the two houses that made up the center of the Community House, I was devistated. One thing that kept sticking in my mind was a little bit of a song Melody had sang. I often find that my intuition speaks to me in song. It was just the line, "You weren't allowed". Finally after days of this song being stuck in my head, I reflected on the line. Yes, indeed, I wasn't allowed. The space was not ready for what I was bringing. But, I did energize the space, and started my work on the field of agreement. Now is the time to start to build that field, and attract those who share the same goals. Everything happens in God's timing. The reasons for things may not be know in the moment, or I may never fully understand. I can let go of the hurts and fogive others who are seemingly against me and realize, they are evolving and acting out their parts in this drama. And most importantly, I can trust the greater wisdom of all things unfolding, and walk with peace and purpose towards my goals.
0 Comments
I continue to be interested in the truth of Christianity. I am not interested in DOGma, I am not interested in superstition. I am not interested in divisiveness and superiority. These are not what I believe Christianity, or rather the teachings of Yeshua are about. I an interested in the spiritual truths that these teachings offer.
One of the issues we face in understanding these truths is the way in which this knowledge has been censored and selected for us. Did you know there are more books of the Bible than you find in the cannonized King James version? The process of selection was done by Constantine in the 4th century. These "edits" as they are referred to, excluded many of the more mystical texts: the gnostic texts. One of the gnostic texts is the Book of Thomas. It was uncovered in the Nas Hammadi library in the 1940s, and has been verified as a legitimate text by scholars. Rather than an account of the life of Jesus, this book is a collection of quotes -114 sayings. About half of the sayings can be found in the traditional Gospels - Matthew, Mark, Luke, John. The other half are previously unknown teachings. I was recently listening to a youtuber talk about Saying #7. Blessed is the lion that becomes man when consumed by man and cursed is the man whom the lion consumes and the man becomes a lion. He explained it as such: The lion is the ego, or false self The man is the authentic self This is a beautiful saying for someone like me who is working a program of Codependents Anonymous. It validates the goals of CoDA. That is to discover the true self. Know Thyself! How Far Into the Darkness Do You Want to Go?How far into the darkness
do you want to go-- before the shape of your own soul becomes a stranger? How long will you walk with voices that echo sweet certainty while hollowing your name from the inside? They offered you a mirror and called it love. You handed them your face, and they redrew it in their image-- a softer lie, a cleaner pain. They said you could be free if you erased what was real. They promised peace in exchange for forgetting. You wanted truth-- but they gave you roles. You wanted healing-- but they gave you slogans. And still, you tried to believe. Because it hurts to stand alone. Because the body aches when no one calls it beautiful. Because silence can feel like abandonment when you’ve never met your own voice. But now, the lie is tight like wire. It wraps around your breath, your eyes, your choices. And in the quiet between performances-- you remember. Something ancient. Something still. Something unbroken. A whisper beneath the script. This is not who I am. This is not my name. This is not the truth I came here to live. And you see it. The door. Unmarked. Unlit. Still open. It doesn’t lead back to what you were-- but forward into what is real. 🕯️ The Journey Back to the RealFor those who have wandered far from themselves 1. The Whisper: Recognizing the Inner Tremor“This is not who I am.” This is the first sign--fragile, barely audible. A flicker of conscience, a tremor in the façade, a moment of stillness where the lie no longer fits. What to do:
2. The Grief: Facing What Was AbandonedTo remember who you are, you must pass through the grief of who you weren’t allowed to be. You may mourn the self you betrayed to belong. You may feel rage toward those who affirmed your confusion. You may weep for the body altered, the voice silenced, the truth ignored. What to do:
3. The Courage: Asking the Forbidden Questions“Why did I need to change to be loved?” “Where did this belief begin?” “Who told me my body was a mistake?” “Who benefits from my confusion?” These questions are holy. They pierce the lie bubble. Let them rise. What to do:
4. The Discernment: Separating Truth from NarrativeNow you begin to see:
5. The Return: Re-inhabiting the SelfYou don’t need to become who you were before. You are becoming real. The return is not to a past identity, but to a deeper integrity. You begin to feel your feet again. Your breath. You stop performing. You start living. What to do:
6. The Light: Living Without the LieThis is freedom--not a new costume, but no longer needing one. You will still feel grief. You may lose people. But you will gain yourself. And from that center, you will radiate something the world rarely sees: True coherence. What to do:
|
Archives
July 2025
Categories |
RSS Feed