How far into the darkness do you want to go?

How Far Into the Darkness Do You Want to Go?How far into the darkness
do you want to go--
before the shape of your own soul
becomes a stranger?
How long will you walk
with voices that echo sweet certainty
while hollowing your name from the inside?
They offered you a mirror
and called it love.
You handed them your face,
and they redrew it in their image--
a softer lie,
a cleaner pain.
They said you could be free
if you erased what was real.
They promised peace
in exchange for forgetting.
You wanted truth--
but they gave you roles.
You wanted healing--
but they gave you slogans.
And still,
you tried to believe.
Because it hurts
to stand alone.
Because the body aches
when no one calls it beautiful.
Because silence
can feel like abandonment
when you’ve never met
your own voice.
But now,
the lie is tight like wire.
It wraps around your breath,
your eyes,
your choices.
And in the quiet
between performances--
you remember.
Something ancient.
Something still.
Something unbroken.
A whisper beneath the script.
This is not who I am.
This is not my name.
This is not the truth I came here to live.
And you see it.
The door.
Unmarked.
Unlit.
Still open.
It doesn’t lead back to what you were--
but forward
into what is real.

🕯️ The Journey Back to the RealFor those who have wandered far from themselves

1. The Whisper: Recognizing the Inner Tremor“This is not who I am.”
This is the first sign--fragile, barely audible.
A flicker of conscience, a tremor in the façade, a moment of stillness where the lie no longer fits.
What to do:

• Don’t push it away.
  
• Don’t explain it away.
  
• Sit with it.
  
• Let the silence speak.
  This is the beginning of your return.
  

2. The Grief: Facing What Was AbandonedTo remember who you are, you must pass through the grief of who you weren’t allowed to be.
You may mourn the self you betrayed to belong.
You may feel rage toward those who affirmed your confusion.
You may weep for the body altered, the voice silenced, the truth ignored.
What to do:

• Grieve without shame.
  
• Let yourself cry, rage, ache.
  
• You are not broken. You are awakening.
  

3. The Courage: Asking the Forbidden Questions“Why did I need to change to be loved?”
“Where did this belief begin?”
“Who told me my body was a mistake?”
“Who benefits from my confusion?”
These questions are holy. They pierce the lie bubble.
Let them rise.
What to do:

• Journal without censoring.
  
• Speak to someone outside the ideology.
  
• Don’t stop at the first “safe” answer. Keep asking.
  

4. The Discernment: Separating Truth from NarrativeNow you begin to see:

• What was you, and what was projection
  
• What was healing, and what was compliance
  
• What was love, and what was control dressed up as affirmation
  

What to do:

• Reclaim your intuition.
  
• Reflect on moments that felt “off” but you ignored.
  
• Begin building your own internal compass.
  

5. The Return: Re-inhabiting the SelfYou don’t need to become who you were before.
You are becoming real.
The return is not to a past identity, but to a deeper integrity.
You begin to feel your feet again. Your breath.
You stop performing.
You start living.
What to do:

• Reconnect with your body--gently.
  
• Explore creative expression, not for applause, but for truth.
  
• Seek relationships where you are not a role, but a being.
  

6. The Light: Living Without the LieThis is freedom--not a new costume,
but no longer needing one.
You will still feel grief. You may lose people.
But you will gain yourself.
And from that center, you will radiate something the world rarely sees:
True coherence.
What to do:

• Let your life become simple.
  
• Let your yes mean yes. Let your no mean no.
  
• Let your presence speak louder than any performance.