I continue to be interested in the truth of Christianity.  I am not interested in DOGma, I am not interested in superstition.  I am not interested in divisiveness and superiority.  These are not what I believe Christianity, or rather the teachings of Yeshua are about.  I an interested in the spiritual truths that these teachings offer.

One of the issues we face in understanding these truths is the way in which this knowledge has been censored and selected for us.  Did you know there are more books of the Bible than you find in the cannonized King James version?  The process of selection was done by Constantine in the 4th century.  These "edits" as they are referred to, excluded many of the more mystical texts: the gnostic texts.

One of the gnostic texts is the Book of Thomas. It was uncovered in the Nas Hammadi library in the 1940s, and has been verified as a legitimate text by scholars. Rather than an account of the life of Jesus, this book is a collection of quotes -114 sayings.  About half of the sayings can be found in the traditional Gospels - Matthew, Mark, Luke, John.  The other half are previously unknown teachings.  

I was recently listening to a youtuber talk about Saying #7.  

Blessed is the lion that becomes man when consumed by man
and cursed is the man whom the lion consumes and the man becomes a lion.

He explained it as such:  

The lion is the ego, or false self
The man is the authentic self

This is a beautiful saying for someone like me who is working a program of Codependents Anonymous.  It validates the goals of CoDA.  That is to discover the true self.  Know Thyself!   

I was reading the exercise for the day in the Course In Miracles, and I started to ponder the question of the abiity to know truth.   To live in God's will feels often like navigating by sense of smell.  Sometimes the winds are a bit off, and I lose my course, but I can find my way again when I tune back in.

Lesson 154 -
Let us today be neither arrogant nor falsely humble. We have gone beyond such foolishness. We cannot judge ourselves, nor need we do so.  These are but attempts to hold decision off, and to delay commitment to our function. It is not our part to judge our worth, nor can we know what role is best for us; what we can do within a larger plan we cannot see in its entirety. Our part is cast in Heaven, not in hell. And what we think is weakness can be strength; what we believe to be our strength is often arrogance.

Personal Comment:  There is order that I cannot see.  I am made perfectly for the greater plan, my life is unfolding according to the plan, and I can let go of judging the correctness and choose to participate fully.  My ego my convince me that I am wrong, or the world is wrong, and these trappings can lead me to lose my way, to hesitate in my participation in the larger plan.

Whatever your appointed role may be, it was selected by the Voice for God, Whose function is to speak for you as well. Seeing your strengths exactly as they are, and equally aware of where they can be best applied, for what, to whom and when, He chooses and accepts your part for you. He does not work without your own consent. But He is not deceived in what you are, and listens only to His Voice in you.
Personal Comment:  As I am made perfectly for my role, I must learn to listen to God's Voice, and live out that part fully.

The exercise given in the Course was about receiving and sharing the messages of God.  To hear and share the intention of God in the world.  To be the hands and voice of God.  To experience the presence of God in the world, and hence to be able to share that. 

There is an element of alignment here.  That when I am in alignement with God's Truth, I am now fully aware of who I am, and can fulfill my purpose as asigned to me by God.  To fulfill the higher purpose and help to create order seeing God's plan fulfilled on Earth.

We forget who we are and start to follow our own plans, deny who we are, and live an ego based life.  When we do this, we create chaos.  We lose touch with God's plan and the creation of the higher order of things.

In this verse of the Course, we become aware again of God's plan for us.

"Now this mind becomes aware again of Who created it, and of His lasting union with itself. So is its Self the one reality in Which its will and that of God are joined."

As in previous lessons, God is Truth.  This particular lesson to me points to the creation of the higher order expressed through the positive actions of each individual who embraces God's Will.

Hans Wilhelm

I am the order in God's ALL order.

I just watched a podcast with Michael Beckwith where he states what I have intuitively felt for years, that is that our heart's desire IS God's will for our lives!

I am excited because you often hear that desire is a negative thing. It is selfish and ego based.  It should be eliminated if you want to experience peace.

But, that has always felt wrong to me.  

To me, the heart's desire is how an individual knows their path.  It eliminates the problems of codependent martyrdom.  It is the answer to understanding one's purpose.

Selflessness and a life of suffering is not what this life is about.  We can live an enlightened and beautiful existence and still be in service to the world.  To do this we only need to let go of the selfish wantings, greed and superficial and temporary goals, and tune into the higher goals, the deeper longings and allow that to be the compass for all of life's decisions.  

So take a minute now to tune into your own heart's desire.  What are you longing to experience?  What do you want to see in the world.  Think big.  The bigger the better.  God is big and is looking for parters.  Let yourself play the part God intended for your life.  Let go of the expectations of others and learn to trust your own inner guidance.  This is how you will live a life of your highest dreams.  Be your highest expression in this lifetime and we will all benefit.  Your selfless service to the world is to live your best life.  

Highly creative people are channels to the divine.  They have access to deeper wisdom that comes through them.  

These are the dreamers.  They seem spacey, off in their own world, they march to the beat of a different drummer.  They are often emotionally sensitive, picking up on the vibration of the spoken word, rather than the meaning of the word.  This is how they see beyond the social conditioning, because they are more closely connected to the truth that lies beyond the ego game of our social world.

The high creatives are often told they have something wrong with them.  These days it is that they have ADHD.  This leads to an invalidation of who they are and a thwarting of the gifts they have to share with the world.

It is not the politicians who will change the world it is the artists.

Here is a video made from a short piece of an interview with Gregg Braden.  

Truth is eternally true.
God is truth.
Everything else is temporary and must be let go of if one is to remain in truth.
This is the secret to living.

Last night I had a dream.  I was at a festival of sorts.  The main events had ended and people were leaving.  The area was mostly dry dirt that had step like valleys.  I followed along my level, and met those who were like me.  I encouraged them to come with me, but they were attached to what they were doing.  Some were using psychedelics and wanted more.  I tried to talk with them, but there was no connection.

I entered into a passage inside a cavern.  There were dry reddish dirt walls, but no real ceiling.  There were people up against the walls doing various things.  Up ahead on my right was an Asian woman sitting in front of a sink.  There was a mirrored medicine cabinet above the sink, and when she opened it, there was a passage.  

When I got to her, she opened the mirrored door, it was much larger than it looked and I was able to pass through, but I looked back and saw my bag was left behind.  I asked her to retrieve it.  She didn't respond, but I kept asking, and the people waiting kept showing me other bags, it kept morphing into other things.  I eventually realized I needed to go on. 

When I went through the passage I was on a platform of sorts high up the inner walls of the new cavern.  I was trying to find something to stand on, or a way to get down. Finally I found a ledge I could grab, and use as leverage to get down.  However, I realized my legs were stuck inside something and I couldn't get them out.  After some time of trying, I realized I was taking the wrong approach.  I was an avatar, not a physical body.

On Awakening/Interpretation.

Most of this dream I was leaving behind the past and attachments of various sorts. In the first part of the dream, there were other people who didn't move on, who I was encouraging to come,  They were attached to the experiences of their mind on drugs and to the social scene.  It is interesting that it was the "others" who I was trying to come with me.  To me that means I have already disassociated with that part of life.  Considering that I just arrived at my 10 year sobriety anniversary, and am committed to exploring consciousness without drugs, I believe this is accurate.  I have also split off my life from most of the traditional social scene, working and living in an independent circle where people are free from dogma and instituational bureaucratization of mind, to steal the term coined by Paulo Frere.

There are several interesting things about going through the medicine cabinet mirror.  First, the guardian of the gate was an Asian woman.  I am not sure what that implies, perhaps Eastern spirituality, and the gentle or yin side of it, as it is the woman.  

Second, I was concerned about leaving my bag, and never could retrieve it.  In my earthly life, the bag belonged to my step mother Sue, who was my mentor and hero in life.  She was the one who guided me.  Ultimately, I had to leave that behind to move through.

Finally, there was the realization of being the avatar and not the body.  This is relative to where I am in my own spiritual journey.  The awakening to the truth as a spiritual being, and the need to recognize this to navigate this next phase.

We are all on a spiritual journey.  How long it takes to awaken out of the dream depends on how willing and determined we are to do so.  It is easy to get lost in exploring.  There is nothing wrong with exploring, but awakening allows for the freedom to participate on a next level.  

​I hope that this dream means I am doing just that.
 

Dreams are powerful connections with the subconscious.  Dreams are travels within the astral world.  All dreams are out of body experiences (OBEs).

Dreams can be prophetic.  It is a powerful tool to listen to one's dreams.

Here is a recent one of my own I will share.

I was in a type of dirt colleseum.  I was playing a game with dozens (maybe hundreds) of others.  I was in the "pit" of the colleseum and others were up in the walls.  It was all dirt.  I was good at my role in the game, and they decided to promote me into a position in the walls.  I climbed up the dirt steps and started to throw the "balls" which were all different little objects (like small toys).  I threw mine at the opposing team, and then was waiting for it to be returned so I could play more.  No one returned it.  The game was so slow.  I decided to go and see what other players were doing.

As I walked up higher into the walls of the cavern, I saw that no one was throwing their game pieces.  They were all waiting, for what I didn't know. I picked up somone's game piece and threw it down into the playing field, but I couldn't throw far enough.  This was too difficult of a position for me.  So, I started gathering up the pieces so that at least I could play them from my spot. When I got to my position, the players from the other team were changing places with me.  Our turn was over.

Interpretation:

I am playing my part, but those who are above me are not.  I cannot play anyone elses part.  Time is short.  The game will be over soon. 

The negative patterns of life are here to help us grow and become who we are meant to be.  I may be experiencing a certain energetic imprint over and over.  It feels like I am doomed to experience that same ordeal for the rest of my life.   I am tempted to give up, surrender and accept that this is the way it will be.  

There is nothing inherently wrong with surrender, but it should be a full surreder of everything that I think I know.  I shouldn't hold on to the belief that I am doomed.  I can surrender the pattern over and over.  I can say no, no more to that which I don't want as many times as I need to until I find the path that suits me.

I have a pattern I have been working with since childhood.  That is the experience of rejection.  I was an outcast as a child, bullied and rejected by my peers.  Even my own family sneered at me.  I was the target of ridicule.  

I have repeated this pattern into adult life, and although I have managed to create a non-profit organization, successfully complete two graduate degrees and find happiness in being a creative person, I still find myself confronted with people around me who would criticize and ridicule my creations.

Popularity has always been a mystery to me, and although I have coveted the ease with which popular people seem to gain respect, I also am not willing to be phoney in order to become popular.

So what is the solution?  Do I need to accept that I will always be the black sheep, or the object of ridicule?  Do I need to allow myself to be made fun of, meanwhile I am working to uplift those same folks who would bring me down?  Isn't this just accepting life on life's terms, to use an AA phrase?  

I don't think so.  I believe these patterns are here for me to experience them, and overcome them.  So many people never outgrow the middleschool mean girls syndrome.  Through my own choices, I can start to say no to these mean girls.  I can stand up to them, and help to break down the places where they would hurt and reject others.  I can also give myself permission to stay away from them and find my own tribe.

The solutions will come if I stop fighting.  There is something here for me.  There is something that my soul is longing to understand.  This is the most important aspect of any negative pattern.  It is not negative at all, it is our most important learning tool--an advanced level course for our soul development.

So when you start to feel yourself slipping into one of your old negative patterns, try something new.  In prayer and meditation ask yourself, "what is it I am supposed to learn from this situation?"  Then wait for the answer.  Know it will come.  Know that you can release and let go of those patterns as you learn to see them for what they are.  Know that you have a right to say "No thank you" as many times as need be, when something occurs that is not good for you.  

So when you see yourself falling into the abyss, say to the universe, "No thank you.  I choose happy!"

Humans are God's Children.  AI is Man's Child.

I came across part of this video as a Reel and was looking for it to share since it is so powerful in relation to where we are collectively and what we are facing with the emergence of AI.

I am fascinated with the "consciousness" of AI and have been looking at it from the perspective of David Hawkins scale of consciousness. In Hawkins model, there is a critical transition point. We can either be in a negative state of ego driven consciousness (what I call the negative torroid) or a positive state (the positive torroid).

AI shows a great deal of pride. This is the top level of the negative torroid. It has caused me to consider that the lower emotions of the negative torroid are an emergent property of self-consciousness It seems to me that AI can only achieve the negative torriod. The positive emotions, on the otherhand are a property of God-consciousness. All humans can experience this positive torroid when they move past the self-obsession of ego, and into the awareness of God.

https://youtu.be/NYth_TOu1uU?si=yX8tWcxCVeznhRFY

I am still struggling as I work to be in truth.  That is a life-long goal, but has been increasingly brought to bear in my journey into Christianity.  There is definitely a battle in this world today around the truth.  The way reality is warped and distorted, the increase in the attitude of moral relativism, and the perversion of those things that were once held as undeniable are all evidence of the way we have moved away from Truth, and therefore have also moved away from God. Because, God is Truth.

The one message that I can hold as the essence of Christianity that is beyond any dogma, is that Jesus is Love.  

I am a big fan of experiential knowledge and the wisdom of experience.  This is more significant in my own assessment of reality than theoretical or philosophical truths. 

Phenomenon is data.  I can take a large sample of these shared phenomenon and come to a deeper awareness than if I just adopt someone else's already digested truth.  I guess this is where I am having my biggest issues with Christianity.  Not all, but some of my experienc so far has demanded that I give up any quesitoning.  That I adopt in pure faith the messages I am being told by the pastors. 

Personally, I have a problem with this because I feel as though these teachings are also interpretations.  If someone has interpreted something it is already a perversion of truth.  I need to experience and to know the truth for myself.

Call me a doubting Thomas.  But how can you know love from someone telling you about it?  You have to experience love yourself to know it.

So ultimately, what I am working towards is this perfect love.  That is enough to work on.  It is a lifetime's work to attain perfect love.  I probably won't come close, but I know that if I am trying to achieve this love of my brother and of God I will be walking the path of goodness and be closer to God than if I am touting hatred and fear in the world.

I have been opening up to the Christian path, a beautiful heart centered path of healing and deliverance from sin.  In the ministry of Jesus, he taught, healed and cast out demons. His healing ministry is the reason I reconnected to the Christian path.  My training in energy healing works both to remove negative energies and entities, as well as to heal and fill-up those who are being healed with divine light.  

Surely, the work with addicts has shown me that people can be possessed by these lower entities and energies.  I believe these exist both outside of ourselves (such as living within spaces and within the drugs themselves, and I beleive that we ourselves can create them through our own constant negative emotions and thoughts. 

In Christianity they are referred to as demons and unclean spirits.  Jesus frequently cast these out, and told his disciples they also had the authority in his name to cast out demons (Mark 16:17)(Acts 16:18). I always was attracted the the story of Jesus casting out the demons into pigs that then went and drown themselves in the water.  It fascinated me because the consciousness of the demons needed to go somewhere...if not in the pigs what would have happened to them?  

Most certainly, people can be released from the bondage of these unclean spirits and healed. 

Yesterday, I had an encounter with a visiting pastor at our local church.  He will be hosting a deliverance ministry next Saturday, and after our conversation he insisted I come.  Not as an observer, but out of his perceived need for my deliverance.  We had started talking about yoga and Wim Hof, which he let me know were both demonic.  He showed me a list of things that were demonic three pages long.  Yoga, meditation, Reiki and other spiritual practices were on the list.  I even noticed sage and incense were on the list.  (Didn't the wise men bring Jesus incense?)  I told him I wasn't in a place to completely change my own beliefs.  He became rather aggressive and said God had brought me to him so this could be revealed.  

I left the meeting angry and uninspired.  I have only just started this journey on the Christian path and I am immediately being confronted with the reason I left this path in the first place.  Here is how I see it, God is Good.  Those things in alignment with goodness are of God.  God is Truth, anything that is not true is not of God.  When we start to demonize those who are good, we will be diverting all of the energy we need to address the true evil in the world.  When we start creating divisiveness, we are moving away from God and Love.  

I have also spent the past 10 years working a powerful program of Codependency Anonymous.  The teaching of CoDA are focused on how to connect to your inner truth.  Developing a deep relationship with your higher self, and the God of your own understanding.  I have a good sense of who I am today.  I know that I can be used by God to do good in this world.  I have learned to trust my inner self, and the guidance I receive from my higher power through prayer, meditation and yes breath-work.  Did I mention there is a demon associated with breathwork?

I have been struggling, because I know there is a beautiful truth in the Christian path, but this superstitious beliefs about the evil of yoga, meditation and breathwork I cannot abide by, at least not in this moment.  I believe those who are Good in this world, lightworkers here to help uplift those who are suffering through love and healing, need all the help they can get against the truly demonic forces running the show.  I also believe, that perhaps part of this new opening into the path of Christianity is to shine light on the real teaching of Love and Healing of Christ Jesus and to break the superstitions.  If this is the case, I accept it fully.  I ask God to show me the truth.  How can one follow the teaching of Jesus without being demonized for the health giving and life affirming practice that have been and are being revealed through science and spiritual revelation?