We have such a strict taboo on discussing politics and religion in our country.  In fact many funding agencies for non-profits restrict these conversations with threat of loss of nonprofit status.  In fact, churches are not allowed to endorse candidates for that reason..  Schools are not allowed to have prayer, and even talk of God had been looked on with terror.

I remember when I entered into the arena of education.  I had already sucessfully completed a PhD in Neuroscience, but was appalled at the mania around medicating children for ADHD. A focus of my research as a scientist was on how the attention systems in the brain operate and how they develop.  I have written on this subject in other forums, and so won't spend time on it now.

One of my first classes I took when I entered education, included field work, where we would act as assistants in a classroom.  This was early childhood, and so I was in a preschool class.  There was one boy who was very curious, and somewhat excluded from the rest of the group.  He liked to follow me around while I took notes.  He had a little clipboard, and would copy everything I did. 

I was formally trained as a scientist, and so we know about observation without interference, but of course, this is education, so I would think I should interact with this kid.  One day before class, I happened to be walking into the building and found a little notebook.  Being a total cheapskate that I am, I picked it up and thought it would be perfect to take notes.  I had some writing in it in a childs hand.  It said, "The Bibel was made by God."  I made my way into the class, and my little assistant showed up right away.  He was curious about my new notebook and asked, "What does that say?"

I told him, making sure to pronounce the word "Bibel" as it was spelled.  "Bib" "El"

Nothing else happened in the conversation relating to God or the Bible, but the next day I was called in for a little "talking to".  Apparently someone had been watching me from behind the two way mirror and was horrified that I had been teaching about God.  

Sharing this story now, we have only become more hysterical and restrictive about conversations around God and politics in schools and social society.  This is not right.  If we are to assist our youth in making sense of the world around them, these are the two most important topics we could possibly discuss.  

There is a difference between honoring differing perspectives and promoting a particular view point.  We should allow more conversation, more discussion, more ideas.  Isn't that the definition of Diversity and Inclusion?  When we silence everyone, isn't that fascism?  

The purpose of this post it to date the time when Consciousness Explorations is no longer tied to the Non-profit The Community House Network.  This is critical because one of the funding sources that I have been utilizing is called Benevity.  This source has you sign a lengthy statement that you will not break any of the acceptable standards of inclusion, that you will not affiliate with politics or religion, and if you do these things you will have to give back any monies you were donated.  

I don't know if they would ever come after me. but I don't want to take the chance.  The reality is that I want the freedom to share whatever is on my heart in these posts, and right now I am feeling called to delve more deeply into politics and religion.

In "The Teachings of Buddha" by Bukko Dendo Kyokai, he states there are 7 teachings which lead a country to prosperity:

First, people shoudl assemble often to discuss political affairs...

Whether Buddhism is a religion or a philosophy of life, we must start to allow these discussions to take place in our public forums.  We have to increase communication, not silence conversations, or label them as misinformation.  For this reason I am in the process of formally disassociating my non-profit with this Consciousness Explorations project.  This will lead to freer expression, which is critical for spiritual development.

These aspects of oneself are so deeply intertwined, I expect there will be dozens of entries on why this is the case, and it is my hope that these conversations will begin to open doors to others who have focused solely on their spirit, keeping them disconnected from the social order and therefore likely disconnected from their earthly purpose.  

Allow yourself to feel present in this moment.
Ask what is your intention for this life?
Perhaps that is too big.
What is your desire in this moment?

We can so so much in this life, but we need to follow the impulse to expand and connect and create.

Purpose is not singular.  Intentions are dynamic as they live within the context of what is happening in your life, and in the world.  I have had many impulses

You are the star of your life.  You are the lead actor in the script of your life.  Don't allow yourself to be an extra.  Start to live deeply and meaningfully.

So ask yourself, what do I want to experience in this life.  What is your hearts desire?  That is what you are meant to do.  

So if something didn't work out in the past, or there is something that feels too big to approach right now, that's OK.  What are the small things you are being called to do?  Do those.  They are the stepping stones to the opportunities that are awaiting just outside the edge of your faith.

Meditation on your purpose.

Close your eyes and breathe.  (1, 2, 3, 4)
Feel how your lungs expand and contract, feel how your body tenses and relaxes,
Breathe in and Let Go.


Then journal.  What is it that you are wanting to experience right now?

One of the quickest ways to get out of a state of connection with God's will is to start to judge.  This is why faith is such a foundational principle of religion, and in PSI phenomenon belief is the cornerstone of higher cognitive psychic capacities.  (see Dean Radin's book "Real Magic").

I think it is worthwhile to take a look at the Judeo-Christian view of judgement by examining the Bible.  Many of the versus refer to the need to realize that we have all sinned, and when we are looking at the sins of others, we should be instead realizing our own sins.

In both Matthew and Luke, we are called out on our judgement through the analogy of criticizing the sawdust in our neighbor's eye while we have not addressed the plank in our own eye. 


Matthew 7:1-51 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.
2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Luke 6:37-4237 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
39 He also told them this parable: “Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into a pit?
40 The student is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher.
41 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
42 How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

In the story of Jesus addressing the Pharisees.  He clearly states that even if we find someone who is breaking the commandments, it is for us to look at our own actions, not those of others when it comes to judgment. 

John 8:1-81 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.
2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them.
3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group
4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery.
5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”
6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.
7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

In the next two versus, there is a clear indication that judgment itself is a sin and will be judged by God.  The only judge that matters is the Law of God and His judgment.  Therefore, it is wise not to add any weight to your own sins, by judging others, but to forgive so that you should be forgiven.  To treat our fellow man with love and kindness and mercy, so that the Lord will do the same for us.  

James 4:11-1211 Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.
12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

Romans 2:1-31 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.
2 Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth.
3 So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment?


The concept of judgment from God is present in Islam, and Judiasm as well as Christianity.  It is further confirmed by many who have had NDEs.  In many cases people are given a life-review.  We don't know for sure what the final outcome of this life review, since when people come back, they do not got to the final phase of the death process.  

Will we be vetted through this judgment process?  Will our next phase of existence come from the test of our Eartly life? That is the belief of many, and seems to resonate as true for me.

One thing is consistent throughout, that is judgment should be left to self-judgment.  If we have the ability to help someone who is trapped in "sin", for example a person enslaved in addiciton, or self-destructive behaviors then we should make every effort to do this.  This is not judgment, this is brotherly love. We are our brother's keeper.

Galatians 6:1-61 Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.
2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
3 If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves.
4 Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else,
5 for each one should carry their own load.
6 Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor.

I have always had very good intuition.  I think of it as a "cognitive capacity" that anyone can develop.  To do this, there are several important steps to take.

1) Become a Clear Channel:
One of the biggest problems in spiritual development is that the immature ego gets in the way.  The mind takes over from pure intuitive knowing, and then the intuition is tainted with one's personal goals, asperations or worse FEARS.  
Becoming a clear channel means I have done enough shadow work to be able to recognize when I am acting out of my own egoic structure. 
2) Live in the Positive Torroid:
If you are engaged with many negative activities and surrounded by negative influence, you are going to have those influences come into contact with your morphic field.  The best way to develop a healthy clear channel is to live a good, clean life.  This is one free of drugs and drama.  Do not enmesh yourself with people who are emotionally sick.  This doesn't mean you cannot be helpful, but the purpose must be to uplift.  Cut your cords emotionally, and do not get dragged down.  Develop good practices of spiritual hygene when interacting in the world.  Use prayer and meditation, especially compassion based practices, to clear any negative entities before trying to work with your intuition.
3) Learn to Listen:
There is no one way listen to your inner guidance.  Really, the process of learning to listen is closely tied to meta-cognition.  I am learning to watch how my mind works.  This is how I start to notice the different aspects of self.  I can watch as I struggle to let go of a selfish urge, and start to open up to other possibilities.  I start to have space between thought and action.  I start to be able to weigh multiple perspectives.  By becoming the observer of my thoughts and inner dialogue, I develop discernment over what is coming from a lower place and a higher place.
4) Practice Journalling:
To start to talk to your higher intuitive knowing, start to journal. Use a free form stream of consciousness approach.  Especially allow those things that are troubling you to bubble up and flow onto the page.  Leave some space in the margin or between thoughts.  This will bring you to the second part of the practice.  Now go back with another color and start to respond to what you have written from a higher place.  Try not to overthink.  Allow answers to come.  This is a powerful practice.
​5) Start Now:
Even though you may not be a clear channel, or feel like you are receiving clear guidance yet, it is good to start experimenting right away.  You may be receiving guidance now, and yet since you haven't been acting on it your guides have gone silent.  As you start to follow your intuition, you will start to have a clearer connection with this guidance.  Keep track of how it is leading you.  If you feel like you were steered off track, try journalling, asking yourself what that meant, and allowing your higher guidance to answer.

Intuition is a capacity we all share.  It is a way of connecting to purpose.  Don't be afraid to start playing with this ability.  It may take time to really hone it, but once developed you will never leave home with out it.

This day is one that is not often associated with devotion.  It is one associated with horror and war, terror and fear.  After 911 happened we immediately stepped towards retribution, and invaded Afganistan.  Corrupt influences used it as an opportunity to secure the poppy fields, and this likely led to the awful situation we now face with the Fentynil crisis.  

That aside, this day can be turned for good.  We can use this as a day of repentance and devotion to direct our energies towards a life of meaning, goodness and grace.  We can use this day as a renewal of our faith that this life is not just meant for suffering and pain, but that our divine light, that extension of God's presence within us, is meant to bring all of the fruits of the spirit into the dark places of the world.

What would it be like, if we truly followed goodness in our lives?

A devotional life means I am taking time to feel the presence of God.  Practicing devotion is not just a box to check off at the end of the day, but is a personal relationship with the divine.  Devotion let's God into the equation of my life.

Take time to think of what are some devotional practices you would like to include in your life.  These can be contemplative practices, such as walking in nature in silence, meditating on a candle or flower, or experience.  Using these as ways to see a bigger picture, God's presence and plan in all aspects of one's life.  

I like to do a life review.  Many who have had near death experiencers have had the life-review and speak of how it changed their perspective on life.  Since, this is what we will be shown at the end of our time here, I like to look for where I may be falling short now, and inwardly ask God what I am meant to learn from these experiences.  A good questions to ask oneself when looking at particularly challenging experiences is, "What are you trying to show me?"  

Another practice I employ is to see the perfection in God's plan.  Driving, walking or travelling I look at the nature and things all around me and say, "that is exactly as it is meant to be".
For example, I may look at nature and say, "That _(tree, plant, flower)_is exactly where it is meant to be."  This can be done for minutes or hours.

In doing this, I begin to allow myself to stop judging and start seeing things as they are.  

Having a sense of appreciation and gratitude during these practices is important.  Our energy of worship and devotion becomes the chalace for God's wisdom to flow into us.  This is the holy grail we seek, to fill ourselves with his grace.

By increasingly living a devotional life, I allow myself to be filled with the Holy Spirit.  The next step is learn to let go and trust this spirit to guide my actions.

We have access to so much information.  Our phone is basically a portal into time and space.  It can provide us tons of information, connection with others, games, entertainment of all sorts, shopping, the entire library of congress is practically available through our phone.  

What does this do to our attention.  I personally used to use a kindle to read from.  I found that I am more engaged when reading on my phone.  Why?  Because I am attached to my phone.  I have a phone addiction.  I have a technology addiction.  I have an information/engagement addiction.  What is worse is that my hyper-engagement with the phone is actually leading to a disengagement with the REAL reality, God's reality.

The sun is setting, it is a beautiful night, but I am not noticing this beauty.  

​I want to take a minute to talk about the dark side of how this technology is pulling us away from the world of the spirit, the world of God.  I will start with a discussion of beauty.  

Aesthetics used to be a form of engagement.  They were important in our daily life.  We are not moving towards utilitarianism.  Look at how McDonalds used to be inviting and playful, and now it is simply about efficiency.  Why is this important?  Because people are not looking around them.  They are engrossed in the virtual reality.  By keeping the surrounding ugly and uninteresting, people, especially children, have no reason to leave their virtual world.

​This world is becoming increasingly ugly and scary.  In my neighborhood there is open air drug use, urban decay with houses falling apart, and evidence of suffering.  Children do not know what to make of this world.  The games and entertainment on their digital devices keep them distracted from the world.  What is even more dangerous still is that the devices themselves are perpetuating a vision of a violent world.  I used to wonder why so many video games are violent.  Isn't it possible to make games that promote positive values and experiences?  Why are so many movies about serial killers?  Isn't it possible to make movies about heros and saints?  Sure it is, but there is an agenda, a dark agenda, and it is being fulfilled before our very eyes.

God is good.  God is beautiful.  His creations should be celebrated.  

Make a decision to take a technology free day.  Turn off your phones and spend time together in spaces of beauty.  Turn your engagement back to the world.

(and not everyone wants it)

I have shared in this blog at other times my personal desire to know Truth with a capital T. I am willing to go down the rabbit hole, and I keep an open mind.

Truth is available.  It is like a relationship with God.  It is available to those who want it, but it take work and the willingness to let go of personal desires.  Of course I want the world to be a certain way, but I must deal with the realities of where we are in actuality.

I often have called myself an idealist-realist.  I believe in the existence of the ideal.  This is what I call "God's vision of the world".  There is also the actual state of the world, and that cannot be denied.  Otherwise we are not living in reality, and delusion is in its essence a lie.  The lie is the domain of the devil.  It can only lead to destruction.

So I choose to live in the reality.  It is painful to look at the ugly truth of where we have arrived in this world.  There is such a great degree of devisiveness, and isolation.  I am not only a truth seeker, but a truth-teller.  Very much like an evangelist who is seeking to save souls from hell, I feel like the truth being told and seen can prevent so much suffering, and move us towards God's vision of this Earth that he created for us.

The sad thing is that not everyone is interested in seeing the Truth.  I have been through this for many years.  Come to think of it, for most of my life.  When I was barely a teen, my father, who was an alcoholic, claimed to have quit drinking.  I discovered his stash of liquor, hidden in various drink containers, from apple juice, to tea, to tonic water.  When I said something about it, I was told I was crazy.  As a young person it was so alienating.  To have truth denied causes a deep inner sense of confusion.  To be told to be quiet, causes the soul to become separated from the world.  My voice is not welcomed. I am not welcomed.  It would be better if I weren't even here.  This dynamic ultimately led to my suicide attempt.  Where I had an NDE that then changed the trajectory of my life.  But that is a story for another time.

I continued to have throughout my life the ability to see corruption.  I worked in a lab as a technician at the VA Hospital in Dallas TX.  Here I was using a technique that could measure compounds in the brain at the level of picomoles.  After several weeks of cleaning up the system I started a new protocol and was getting good results.  I had used a moble phase (the liquid medium that would help isolate the compounds of interest) from a successful University lab.  Then for no reason, the lab manager switched out my moble phase.  I was just the technician so I didn't mind.  I can follow orders if they are not against basic core values.  Also, this new moble phase had incredible "peaks", that is the ability to measure picomoles was so enhanced, it helped with the data analysis.

However, after the change in moble phase, something happened to the profile of the dopamine curve.  Instead of dropping after several minutes, it stayed elevated for hours.  I spent several weeks trying to figure out this anomaly.  Ultimately to no avail.  My lab manager switched me to a new project, to supposedly finish something they had worked on and never completed.  I started on this new project and was given an assistant.  This was key to my discovery.  The new assistant accedently added too much of a particular binder in the moble phase.  The result was that a new "peak" appeared.  I uncovered the fraud.  

This is probably too much for people who are not familiar with HPCL to understand so I will just leave it at that.  I discovered fraud.  I wound up leaving the lab.  I did try to confront the situation, but everyone just denied it.  My regret is that I didn't say something to the higher-ups.  I had called a professor I respected at Rutgers to ask her opinion.  Dr. Morell.  She had taught our course on ethics, and I remember her saying how falsifying data can cause so much confusion in the field.  It can take years to undo the damage done.  

She told me that to open up that can of worms could be ruinous to my career, and they may never find the truth even so.  Now I realize, it would have been worth it. 

Several years later, I saw a Congressional Hearing with a panel of experts who were exposing evidence from ground zero that there was the presence of military grade thermate in the sample.  The professor Steven Jones from Brigham Young University used a technique similar to the one I had used.  A technique that could give a chemical fingerprint so precise they could actually determine what lab the compound had been created in.  Things like Potassium Permanganate were present.  This compound is so volitile it does not stay stable in the environment.  When you add water, it will burn a hole in your clothing, or your finger as I found out when in my college chemistry lab.  That led me to a deep investigation of the matter, and I spent the next several years trying to talk to people about it.  I finally gave up, realizing most people are unable to accept uncomfortable truths.  I made the decision to try to work in the light.  I could discuss those areas people could agree on.  I could stay in truth, but not alienate people.  There are always things we all agree on, right?  Kindness, neighborliness, taking care of one another, educating our children.  These are core values everyone shares. 

But now, I am being called to expose corruption again. 

I am a truth-teller.  I do not feel right keeping secrets.  I have been convicted in my own beliefs, and I am willing to stand behind them even at the risk of losing friends, family members, and even my own life.

Today I see with clarity.  God's plan is perfect.  I have been given these challenges throughout my life to galvanize my spirit. Making the decision to see Truth is liberating.  Through this, I am able to see my true purpose and walk confidently on my path.  This process of embracing Truth has helped me to developed discernment.  The ability to sense physically and through direct knowing, the resonance of Truth.  Am I perfect at it?  Not even close, but I believe the more I make the decision to seek Truth, and let go of how I think things should be, the more I can sense the presence of Truth. 

Just as the ability to know God is available for those who want it, the ability to know Truth is there for those who want it.  It comes with a price, but just as Neo had to give up his comfortable existence in the movie The Matrix, what kind of life would it be to live a comfortable lie?  I choose the Red Pill.

​

Why is forgiveness so difficult?

Anger, frustration, the desire for revenge.  The desire for justice.  

When things are unfair, what is the right thing to do?  I know we are supposed to forgive, but how?  How can I let this evil deed go unpunished?  

It is hard not to feel like the victim.  I can make the list of sins against me, and it is long.  I can feel the pain and hurt, and remember the tears and despair created by those who sought to intentionally destroy me.   

What do I know of truth?  What do I know of life?  What do I know of Justice?

Do not look back.  Do not take it upon yourself to dole out retribution.  Do not waste energy on those who deserve none.

The parable of Lot's wife is one to be taken to heart here.  

What is needed now is to look forward.  Teal Swan spoke about forgiveness, and said you cannot make the decision to forgive, or force yourself, or do affirmations until you do so, you make the decision to move on with your life.

When your achieve resolution, that is the opposite of the pain that was caused by those who intentionally or unconsciously hurt you, then you can forgive.

You do not expect resolution by those who hurt you.  They are now in the past.  They are far away, long gone, distant memories.  You achieve resolution from your future, the direction you are headed, the goals you are seeking to achieve.  And when you achieve them, you are healed.

When you were destroyed by someones rejection and exclusion, you are healed when you are finally welcomed into the place you were meant to be.  This is when the resolution comes.  Now the forgiveness comes naturally.

So move forward towards what you are wanting in your life.  Use the hurt to show you where you need to go to be healed, and then walk that path of healing unwaveringly.  The resolution you seek is seeking you.  Your pain becomes your purpose.

There is a lot happening in my life that feels incredibly unfair, and yet because of my spiritual practice and growth it is all alright.

Do I always enjoy it?  No!

I believe the adage, "everything happens for a reason".  I used to add, yes and that reason is that I am an idiot or I made a bone-head decision.  I didn't always recognize the deeper meaning behind everything that I do and all that comes into my experience.

I was having a conversation with one of my beautiful spiritual teachers in this life, Barbarah Nicoll, and she spoke about how we live in fields of agreement, and the fields allow for some things to happen, and restrict others.  She had been a colleague of mine when I worked at the SelfDesign Institute.  She was instumental in bringing me into the institute, and she also experienced some of the abuses that one member imposed on so many of us there.  

I had shared with her a conversation and how I had wanted to speak my truth but wasn't given the chance.  She explained that there was no way I could speak that into the space, because on the spiritual and energetic level there was a complete block.  There was no agreement to allow that in.

When I made the decision to shut down the two houses that made up the center of the Community House, I was devistated.  One thing that kept sticking in my mind was a little bit of a song Melody had sang.  I often find that my intuition speaks to me in song.  It was just the line, "You weren't allowed".  

Finally after days of this song being stuck in my head, I reflected on the line.  Yes, indeed, I wasn't allowed.  The space was not ready for what I was bringing.  But, I did energize the space, and started my work on the field of agreement.  Now is the time to start to build that field, and attract those who share the same goals.

Everything happens in God's timing.  The reasons for things may not be know in the moment, or I may never fully understand.  I can let go of the hurts and fogive others who are seemingly against me and realize, they are evolving and acting out their parts in this drama.  And most importantly, I can trust the greater wisdom of all things unfolding, and walk with peace and purpose towards my goals.  

I continue to be interested in the truth of Christianity.  I am not interested in DOGma, I am not interested in superstition.  I am not interested in divisiveness and superiority.  These are not what I believe Christianity, or rather the teachings of Yeshua are about.  I an interested in the spiritual truths that these teachings offer.

One of the issues we face in understanding these truths is the way in which this knowledge has been censored and selected for us.  Did you know there are more books of the Bible than you find in the cannonized King James version?  The process of selection was done by Constantine in the 4th century.  These "edits" as they are referred to, excluded many of the more mystical texts: the gnostic texts.

One of the gnostic texts is the Book of Thomas. It was uncovered in the Nas Hammadi library in the 1940s, and has been verified as a legitimate text by scholars. Rather than an account of the life of Jesus, this book is a collection of quotes -114 sayings.  About half of the sayings can be found in the traditional Gospels - Matthew, Mark, Luke, John.  The other half are previously unknown teachings.  

I was recently listening to a youtuber talk about Saying #7.  

Blessed is the lion that becomes man when consumed by man
and cursed is the man whom the lion consumes and the man becomes a lion.

He explained it as such:  

The lion is the ego, or false self
The man is the authentic self

This is a beautiful saying for someone like me who is working a program of Codependents Anonymous.  It validates the goals of CoDA.  That is to discover the true self.  Know Thyself!