The next energy level up from Neutrality (Humility) is Willingness.  The associated emotion is optimism, the process is intention, the life-view is hopeful, and the God-view is inspiring.  

It seems to me I like to work in this level.  At the Community House the word Hope is all over the place.  We have intentions setting every week for our house members, and every New Year for our Consciousness Explorations community.  Inspiration is the foundation for the way in which I connect to my creative drive.  

I am sure I waiver, and know I can easily drop down into the negative emotions (especially wanting) but as for my positive counterpoint, Willing seems to fit my profile.

There is something I have read about Hope that was written by Rudolf Steiner and has always stuck with me.  In hope there is also a kind of wanting, a wishing that can keep me stuck.  I am holding on for dear life, rather than trusting and letting go.

He spoke of Hope itself being impotent, but when infused with other aspects of soul-force it would fulfill its promise.

GA 58. Metamorphoses of the Soul: Paths of Experience I — The Mission of TruthWhile the creative thinker unites his Ego with the future and gets free from himself, the reflective thinker can look to the future only with hope, for he has no part in shaping it. He can only hope that things will happen. Goethe shows his deep comprehension of the myth by endowing the marriage of Epimetheus and Pandora with two children: Elpore (Hope) and Epimeleia (Care), who safeguards existing things.
If a Promethean man were to stand before the world and speak of the future, he would say: “I hope for nothing. With my own forces I will shape the future.” But a reflective thinker can only reflect on the past and hope for the future; thus Elpore, when asked whether this or that will happen, replies always, yes, yes.
Goethe wished to show that an understanding of the real nature of truth will unite humanity and foster love and peace among men. Then Hope, also, is transformed in the soul — Hope who says yes to everything but is powerless to bring anything about. The poem was to have ended with the transformed Elpore, Elpore thraseia, coming forward to tell us that she is no longer a prophetess but is to be incorporated into the human soul, so that human beings would not merely cherish hopes for the future but would have the strength to co-operate in bringing about whatever their own productive power could create.

Steiner further describes hope as a part of the feeling life, that flows from us as an expression of the soul.  The difference between the lower aspects of this emotional flow, here he gives the example of impatience, is the involvement of higher aims and goals. 

GA 115. Wisdom of Man, of the Soul, and of the Spirit — At the Portals of the Senses
Observe, for example, those phenomena within the life of feeling that come under the head of concepts like impatience, hope, longing, doubt, even despair, and you have points of contact between these terms and something spiritually tangible. You perceive that the origins of soul processes like impatience, hope, longing, and so forth, are nothing but different expressions of the constantly flowing current in its striving for satisfaction of the forces of desire and for decisions through the forces of visualization.
Impatience is a desire flowing along with the current of the soul, and it does not cease till it terminates in satisfaction. Reasoning powers hardly come into play there. Or take hope. In hope you will readily recognize the continuous current of desires, but of desires that, unlike those of impatience, are permeated by the other element of the soul life, that is, a tendency of the reasoning powers toward a decision.

Hope has a direction that is oriented towards the betterment of mankind.  Hope is the motivator for that positive action.  Hope is a critical force for the advancement of humanity.  Without hope we drop down into despair when we see all of the corruption and negativity in the world.  Perhaps hope itself is not the final piece in the puzzle, but it certainly would make it impossible to move past the current challenges without it.  Without hope, we would be lost in the sea of despair.

GA 130. Faith, Love and Hope — Faith, Love and Hope, the Third RevelationWe know about the future just as much as we need to know. Life would be impossible in the physical world were not future events to be preceded by hope in this rhythmical way. Would anyone make a table to-day without being sure it would not be destroyed in the night; would anyone sow seeds if he had no idea what would become of them? It is precisely in physical life that we need hope, for everything is upheld by hope and without it nothing can be done. 

The energy level of anger falls just below pride.  It is associated with the emotion of hate, the process of aggression, the life view of antagonism, and the God view of vengeful.  

Anger is an emotion I have thought about quite a bit.  Anger, when directly rightly can be the impetus for change.  Through courage, it can fuel determination.  

There is a verse from the Bible that is often misunderstood.  Ephesians 4.
26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.

Most feel like this is a warning to forgive, and not to go to bed angry.  However, it can be taken in another light.  That is that righteous anger is good, and one should not let it be diminished.  Rather we should keep the light of the sun on this anger directed against sin.

There is a much better description of this by the "Righteous Report".
youtu.be/LFcEfVzYhvU?si=9hdopU-XA1YYh1Ro

As someone who has abused the emotions of righteous indigation, it is important that I am aware of the fact that I am indeed working in the negative emotions here.  There is a lot of potential for harm to myself and others if I stay in this space.  

I must be able to have my compass still directed towards the higher goal.  Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  expressed extreme anger at the injustices of the world, and used that powerful energy to ignite the Civil Rights Movement.  

Only a few months ago, I opened up the space at the Community House to host a bible study and worship service.  Bishop Rachel (the title is conferred by their Profit) leads the session.  A great majority of the focus is on repentance.  Not surprizing given the title of their ministry is The Illinois Ministry of Repentance and Holiness.  Our first few sessions, I enjoyed the singing, and reading the versus out of the Bible about the ascention, or New Earth.  I was pretty shocked at how well it seemed to align with what spiritual gurus like Dolores Cannon have been saying for decades.  The ascention into the 5th dimension.  

After several sessions though, I started to become more concerned at the level of fear that was being projected.  Bottom line, pretty much everyone is going to hell.  

I have watched hundreds of NDE videos, and am fascinated with what happens when we die.  In 1986 I experienced my own NDE after a suicide attempt.  In my own experience I did actually begin a descent into what I believe could only be hell.  I felt my body sinking into a "black hole in time" and there were all the sounds of people suffering.  So much pain and despair.  In that moment, I remember being like, "Hell No!  Yes, life is hard, but this I cannot take."  My body then rose up, and started dialing 911, as if of its own accord.  Then I started throwing up.  

There were many things that I came to understand from that very brief experience about the multidimensional nature of reality.  My sense of knowing increased, and although I didn't have any super psychic abilities, I had a greater awareness of what this whole thing is about.

One thing I knew was that if I skipped out on my responsibilities, I would have to come back and do it all over.  This seemed like a horrible idea, and so I decided to dig in to the purpose of my life, to try to make the world a better place.

Since 1986 a lot of awareness about NDEs is available to all of us.  The testamonials are incredible, and I have heard some people talking about that dark space -hell.  But even those people, the ones who spent more than the 10 seconds I spent there, did eventually have the chance to go to the light.  It seems also that some of those who get stuck in hell are simply unaware that they can go to the light any time.  

On the otherhand, the vast majority of people go to what we would call Heaven.  Even the atheists and drug dealers end up there (although some take a little detour first).

Everyone who does arrive there says that they are completely loved.  This is the idea of God that feels true to me.

The idea of a vengeful God, the one that comes out of the view of Anger, is difficult for me to comprehend.  However, is there a place to shout from the mountain tops that we must repent.  Is there a place to stop coddling sin?  I do believe that.  We are collectively being led off a cliff by powerful negative forces.  The corruption around us is on par with the greatest evils that ever existed.  Most people are unconscious to the control systems.  They believe they are free and living a good life.  They trust the government and media.  They don't peer around the corner or read between the lines.  

So do we need to do a bit of shaking up?  Maybe we do need a little trembling to happen.  Something definitely needs to change.  Through anger, perhaps some will hear the message, and rise up out of their apathy to create a world of unity and harmony.

​Amen. So Be It.

In the course at TLF we have been discussing the 12 senses of Rudolf Steiner.  We just finished the work with the four senses of the Will: Touch, Being (life force), Motion, and Balance. 

As we shared in our last session, the topic came up for several of us regarding the nature of movement.  Besides movement through space, there was a strong awareness of inner movement.  I found it intriguing, It seemed to me that most of my experience of movement had an associated inward experience, in particular a feeling state that was the director. In my study of attention systems in the brain, the will is associated with the brain region known as the basal gangila.  This system is connected to reflexive and voluntary movement.  It is also connected to motivation and emotional networks. 

How does feeling express itself as related to the Will in this conversation of movement?

Steiner has spoken on this idea in his lecture - Feeling in Relationship to Willing

"To begin with I would like to note that only when we understand the will can we understand even a part of the feelings that move us.  Thus we can ask ourselves, What is a feeling really?  A feeling is closely related to will. Will is only feeling made active, and feeling is repressed will. That part of will that we do not completely express and that remains in the soul is feeling.  Feeling is blunted will.  Thus we can first understand the nature of feeling only when we have penetrated the nature of willing." 
  
Thinking of my descriptions of movement as a child--shy, withdrawn interspersed with bursts of energy and enthusiasm.  These descriptions all demonstrate the connection to the inner movement, or feeling life.  Becoming aware of how these inner movements direct my actions in the world, and making a decision to become consciously aware of how my inner movment leads to my actions is the first step towards living more consciously.  Noticing how my feelings are inextricably tied to my actions gives me a sense of personal awareness to direct my internal energies with purpose.  This is expecially true of the more destructive impulses coming from the lower vibrational feelings.

My mother battled depression her whole life, and so I experienced this energy quite often.  Her primary response to her own depression was to deny it, cover it up with a type of saccharine happiness, or to use destraction other addictions, and medication to supress it.  It is notable that an indicator of depression on a Rorshach test is that the one being tested will often describe things as bright and happy.  Clearly, the healing gesture of these negative feeling states is not to go straight to joy.  The movement of skipping and jumping with enthusiasm does not feel honest.  We can't put a happy face on depression and grief, but we can learn to move through this energy.  What would be the healing movement that could help resolve these inner feelings.   

First, it would be wise to start to understand where the movement lies on some authentic measure.  We can use the map of consciousness by David Hawkins as a framework, with the goal of moving up and out of those negative emotions in an honest and healing way.  So we can ask, "What is the associated energy level of consciousness to the movement?" 

Thinking of my own description of my movement as a child, "shyness, hiding and withdrawing", I believe the associated energy was fear.  Mostly fear of people, of being rejected or hurt.  Taking that into account, when I look at the movement in my adolescent years, "stomping, hands on hips, mosh-pit", I can clearly see that my energy had moved up the scale of consiousness.  Here I was clearly acting out anger. 

In working with adolescents in alternative high schools, I have often seen this same pattern manifested. In our public schools, students who do not achieve academically are often embarassed, generating fear.  These same students often develop coping mechanisms of acting out, and becoming defiant, as a way to avoid being shamed or humiliated in class.  The other pattern is that of developing apathy or learned helplessness. These are all well documented phenomena. 

Typically the students who move into defiance are seen as being the most troublesome, but from the energy level perspective, this move into anger may be a more healthy emotional response.  It is moving up the scale from fear, rather than down into shame, apathy and despair.  

Realizing these patterns can be used as guides for healing.  Probably the best example of this is the globally recognized path of healing from grief that has been described by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.  Can we also provide some pathway for those who are trapped in internal movements of self-destruction?  It is worth investigating.

One step up from Courage on the scale of consciousness created by David Hawkins is Neutrality.  I like the word humility better.

Here is how Hawkin's describes Neutrality (energy level 250)

"Energy becomes very positive as we get to the level that we have termed Neutral, because it is epitomized by release from the positionality that typifies lower levels.  Below 250, consciousness tends to see dichotomies and to take on rigid positions, an impediment in a world that is complex and multi-factorial rather than black and white.  Taking such positions creates polarization, and polarization in turn creates opposition and division.  As in the martial arts, a rigid position becomes a point of vulnerability; that which does not bend is liable to break.  Rising above barriers or oppositions that dissipate one's enegies, the Neutral condition allows for flexibility and nonjudgmental, realistic appraisal of problems.  To be Neutral means to be relatively unattached to outcomes; not getting one's way is no longer experinced as defeating, frightening, or frustrating..."

I guess I am partial to the word humilty, because it seems to be to be more connected to human emotion.  It has less of a cold, robotic feel to it.  Also, I love the 12 steps, and "Humility" is the foundation of the 12 steps.  Also worthy of noting, is that "Anonymity" is the guiding principle of the 12 traditions.  These qualities of humility and anonymity are the ego puncturing tools necessary to move out of the negative toroid and start to live in grace. In my experience, addicts are definitely stuck in the negative toroid--without a doubt.

The thing about humility is that it is often mistaken for humiliation.  This is hardly the case.  Humility is not thinking poorly of oneself.  That is closer to guilt and shame, the two emotions on the bottom of the consciousness map.  Humility is accurate perception.  It is seeing things as they are.  There is a greater detatchment with the emotion of humility.  There is no desire to defend a position in humility.  Things just are as they are.  Neutral.

From the AA 12 & 12:

I find it fascinating that these steps align so well with Hawkin's map of consciousness.  How amazing to realize that without moving into Neutrality, the first level of the positive toroid, then we have no chance of happiness.  This truth has never been more clear than to the addict holding on to the justifications for continuing to use, unwilling to look at the truth of their situation.  They must surrender, and get humble, if they are to get free.

The book continues:

And so it is, that when we step into the energy vibration of Neutrality we free ourselves from the negative pull.  This is one reason I am such a fan of Hawkin's work.  Since addict and alcoholics tend towards selfishness, this map is a way to reach even the most self-serving individual.  With this map everyone can see clearly how their negative attitudes can bring nothing but negative outcomes, then even in the desire for their own happiness and release from suffering, there is the motivation to do this work of becoming humble.

Finally, the 12 & 12 makes the connection between steping on the path of humility as taking a step towards God.  This is how I see the map of consciousness.  Each step up the vibrational ladder, is one step closer to God-Truth-Enlightenment.

I have worked with many addicts who become stuck in pride.  Once my friend who was struggling with pride asked me, "Shouldn't I feel proud of my successes?"  If pride hadn't continued to cause her so much grief, I might have spoken differently, but the truth is, her pride caused her to scoff at everyone around her, and to proclaim her own greatness, causing strife in all of her friendships and usually ending in her isolation and relapse.  

I told her to instead feel grateful.  To take all of that positive feeling and compound it by giving praise to her Higher Power for all the gifts of success she had received.  What a different energy than pride.  It is so true, when we are grateful, we become graceful.  We don't bump up against everyone and everything around us, trying to show our worth.  We can let go of other people's judgment (positive and negative), and be at peace in the world.  We can trust God.

To read all of Step 7 press the black button!

In the model of human consciousness created by David Hawkins, pride is the highest negative vibrational state.  What does it mean?  It is at the top of the negative toroid.  So interesting the saying "Pride cometh before the fall".  In his consciousness model, the negative energies created a field that feeds into itself.  At the top of the negative, the only place to go is down.

Pride then is a trap.

The associated emotion with pride is scorn, and scorn is so hurtful to those around it.  It creates a sense of shame and unworthiness.  It pushes people down, or puts them in their place, which is of course, below pride.

Pride is competitive.  It is from a form of division.  It is a form of idenitification with the small self, the ego.

In moving up the scale of consciousness, I am becoming more connected to my higher Self, my divine self.   I am starting to see my interconnectedness with the whole.

It seems to me our collective consciousness is trapped at this level of pride, We are all in this ego game of proving our individual worth.  Until we can collectively move past pride and scorn we will never become who we are meant to be.  The emotion of pride is only a small element of the problem.  The negative judgment, and minimizing others associated with scorn is what really causes the havoc.  Holding others down causes all of us to be diminished.

I think here of the concept of UBUNTU, and my favorite speech from Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Ubuntu can be translated:
 "I am because we are" also "I am because you are"

This conecpt is related to the interconnectedness of humanity.

Martin Luther King expressed it as:
“In a real sense all life is inter-related. All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be...
This is the inter-related structure of reality.”― Martin Luther King Jr., Letter from Birmingham Jail: Martin Luther King Jr.'s Letter from Birmingham Jail and the Struggle That Changed a Nation: Library Edition

I have been taking a course with the Transformative Learning Foundation
The course provides experiential learning using Rudolf Steiner's 12 sense as the framework.  This past week we covered the sense of Movement.  We were asked to recollect how we moved as a child, then as a teenager and then as a young adult.  We shared our experiences and insights and then were asked to draw our inner experience of moment now.  

I initially felt this upward movement very light, with the color orange, but it was immediately followed by downward forces, in purple.  Then the most crystalized moment was the use of black, first to define a central energy point within myself, indicated by the triangle and the eye, and then a central channel, the desire to move upward and break free from the binds.  The black at the bottom represents the feeling of being chained or attached to the negative.

The breaking away from the judgment and scorn of others has been a theme in my life.  In my expression of moment it went like this...

As a child:
Shy, timid, hiding, moving away from the group.
Moments of bursting forth with enthusiasm, shining,
Being pushed down.
Return to hiding.

As a Teen:
Stomping, Pushing, Mosh Pit.
Hands On Hips
Destruction.

As a Young Adult:
Steady, head down, determined
Resolute, quick, looking over shoulder
Leaping forth, joyful expression
--unreceived--
Keep moving, independent, dancing by myself
alienated...disjointed...missing connection...no partners.

What was so revealing is that I have come a far way, but also that I can go back into any of these phases when I am triggered by a life experience, especially the scorn of others.

But I realize today, it is all an important part of my souls unfolding.  The goal is to move into the higher states.  Dr. Hawkins found that those who were spiritually advanced were no longer sensitive to others' negativity.  Wow, that would be great!

I first was introduced to the work of David Hawkins as a teenager.  My mom read the book Power vs Force and was so inspired by it, she bought copies for all of her friends.  I hadn't, however, read the book until a month ago, after watching a youtube video of Dr. Hawkins taking about addiction and model presented in the book.  This model provides a map of the different levels of consciousness energy.

The basic premis of these levels of consciousness is aligned with what many spiritual science proponents discuss, that of raising the vibration to create the life you desire.  

Dr. Hawkins creates a kind of dividing line between what he terms positive vibrational states, and negative vibrational states.  This is critically important for those who want to use this book as a tool for healing, since it is not just about moving up the scale in vibration, but moving past a critical threshold in order to create the life you desire.  Once you hit that threshold you are in the positive stream, whether it be lower or higher on the scale.  However, below the threshold you are in the negative stream.

I have come to see this division as the central dividing a positive and negative toroid.  

This idea was inspired by the work of Nassim Haramein.

https://youtu.be/JyqBnd3Xwck?si=t8fdoJI92NebEaBj

The midline is courage, and this transition point could drop you back down into the negative, or move you to the positive.

My ability to describe these concepts is still pretty limited.

Here is Dr. Hawkins description of the Courage vibration, which he calibrates at 200.

"At the level of Courage, an attainment of true power occurs, therefore, it is also the level of empowerment.  This is the zone of exploration, accomplishment, fortitude, and determination.  At the lower levels, the world is seen as as hopeless, sad, frightening, or frustratin, but at the level of Courage, life is seen to be exciting, challenging, and stimulating.

Courage implies the willingness to try new things and deal with the vicissitudes of life.  At this level of empowerment one is able to comple with and effectively handle the opportunities of life.  At 200, for instance, there is energy to learn new job skills.  Growth and education become attainable goals.  There is teh capacity to face fears or character defects and to grow despite them; anxiety also does not cripple endeavor as it would at the lower levels of evolution.  Obstacles that defear people whose consciousness is below 200 act as stimulants to those who have evolved into the first level of true power.

People at this level put back into the world as much energy as they take; at lower levels, populations as well as individuals drain energy from society without reciprocating.  Because accomplishments result in positive feedback, self-reward and esteem become progressively self-reinforcing.  This is where productivity begins. "  

(from Power vs Force, pg 105-106)